What are key strategies for overcoming adversity? Do you fear the unknown when faced with challenges and adversities? Can you adapt to change and remain resilient? For this episode of the Imagine Talks Podcast, we’ll hear from Michelle Duong, a three-time cancer survivor who spoke at the Imagine Talks annual symposium.
Michelle Duong’s philanthropic background includes serving on the Board of Directors for non-profits Working Wardrobes and Operation Be Kind. Through their monthly missions, they have provided much-needed essential items such as food, clothing, sleeping bags, school supplies. The operation works with youth volunteers from various high schools.
Michelle is an executive, business partner, and entrepreneur who uses her experience and knowledge to assist organizations with staffing and recruitment strategies.
If you want to learn more about Michelle Duong:
- LinkedIn: Michelle Duong
- Facebook: Michelle Duong
Below is our edited transcript of Michelle Duong’s talk, “The Journey to Connecting,” at the Imagine Talks Annual Symposium.
Fireside Chat with Michelle Duong
Francis Kong: Can you— we start off with you telling us a bit about yourself? Who you are, where you came from, and how did you get started doing what you do today?
Michelle Duong: Sure. Well, thanks for giving me the opportunity to chat with you, I’m always open to sharing my life story. It—we—it’s interesting, but yes, my name is Michelle Duong. I am an immigrant from Vietnam. My family came here to the United States in 1975 and we resided in Texas originally and in a small town called Weatherford, Texas.
And we were probably the only Asian family there and we moved out here to Southern California where my dad’s side of the family came when they came from Vietnam in 1987. So I’ve been here in Southern California since 1987. I do go back to Texas very often, at least once a year as we have a lot of family there—my mom’s side of the family. I am a mother of two young men—27 and 23 [years old].
Well, he just turn 27 yesterday, and I had him very young, and I appreciated the bond that we have with me having them that young and understanding—the generational challenges that they are faced with. So with that being said, as far as my background, I graduated from UCLA with my MBA and I have a law degree from Chapman University. I did practice law for a few years, but I really use my law degree and my education to be an entrepreneur.
Being in the staffing industry for the last twenty years
I’ve been in the staffing industry almost 20 years and I think what has kept me in the staffing industry is my will and passion to help others. I have never treated it as a sales job. It’s really: how do I make an impact in other’s lives? And that stems from all the challenges and adversities that I’ve experienced in my life in so many different facets. And so the staffing industry has always been the core business that I have been in the last twenty years.
But I’ve had my own staffing firm. I have worked for global organizations and I did run—
I was a part-CEO owner of an IT consulting business as my late husband passed away of pancreatic cancer. It would be three years this March, and I was basically in that position by default. And that’s something that we could discuss later on in our discussion that I would share with everyone in our chat. But in a nutshell, my career is centered around helping others.
Francis Kong: That’s beautiful. Thank you so much for giving that little glimpse at the beginning. And you definitely touched on a lot of challenges that you’ve gone through. So I want to ask you, you can share my sharing with the audience and myself some of the challenges you’ve gone through in your life in terms of health challenges and relationship challenges. And also, obviously, being a young parent challenges—all these three things are huge in a person’s life. But, you— from my memory of talking with you had it on a whole different level.
So would you mind sharing that with us?
A three-time cancer survivor's story of overcoming adversity
Michelle Duong: Well, I’m truly blessed to even be here.
I think being a— we don’t have hours to discuss or chat like this so I’ll do my best to summarize it: I am a three-time cancer survivor, I went through breast cancer, thyroid cancer, and cervical cancer. And every time you sit in front of the doctors and they give you this terrifying news, you just are faced with so much fear and known and anxiety. And I think that the one core thing that is—well, I would say two core things—that have always helped me overcome that fear and anxiety and be able to beat cancer.
First and foremost is my faith, I have very strong faith in the Lord.
And the second piece that I think that really has helped me with overcoming health challenges is my mindset, making sure that I’m always every day resetting and being able to stay positive in the way I look at the day.
Do not overwhelm yourself while overcoming adversity
And I think what a lot of people tend to do is—and it’s natural when you’re faced with the challenge or adversity—you’re scared of the unknown and the unknown is what’s going to happen next week, next month, next year, and if I’m going to be here and all these other questions start storming your mind. And for me, when I get faced with big challenges, I tell myself,
“It’s OK if you step back and take things hour by hour. And then, day by day. And, just slowly understand how much you can endure. Do not overwhelm yourself.”
And I think that something I truly feel I’ve mastered and when I see other people struggling with adversity and challenges—whether it be health scares, changes in their lives, careers, pivotal moments in their life—we tend to get crippled by looking at such a big picture right away. And for me, sometimes it’s OK.
Don’t feel that you’re being judged that, “I’m only trying to survive the next hour,” you know, because sometimes that is what’s required for you to overcome the challenge that you’re being faced with and mindset is huge.
2 main key factors on overcoming adversity: faith & mindset
So, again, in summary, I think when you asked me the question, describe a bit a little bit about the challenges that I face and how [I] overcame—from health check, from my health challenges—surviving cancer three times. The two main key factors are faith and mindset, and being able to train your mind on that: know that it’s OK. You’re not being judged if you have to take things in small sound bites.
Michelle Duong: Let me just surpass this next hour, and then let me get through this day. And I think I might have mentioned to you what I posted on the first of the year where everybody’s been posting on social media and their discussions is, “I cannot wait for 2020 to be over with.” And I said, “Well, what’s the difference? What is going to really happen from December 31st to January 1st?” It’s not like we’re all going to walk through this miracle door and all of our worries and all of the challenges that we face with the pandemic, and all of the changes that people experience, and the fear that we’ve all kind of experienced to some degree with this pandemic is going to go away. It’s not.
So, again, it’s a reminder even for myself, like, look, even though 2021 is here, I’m still doing video calls as I went back to work. The pandemic is still here. We don’t know where to get the vaccines, I mean, it goes on and on and on. But it goes to say that you cannot control what happens to—to some extent you can— but you cannot control what occurs around you in the world.
Controlling how you respond to overcoming adversity
But you can always control how you respond and I think mindset is so critical and important. And when it gets tough, when the challenges I’ve faced in my life, I’ve always taken in small strides. When I receive news — “Oh, my gosh, you have cancer” — well, that’s horrific. And when you get a second time, “Oh, my gosh, I’m not going to make it because I got it the first time. What are the chances I’m going to make it the second time?” And then we face it again the third time. And to me, it was like,
“Wait a minute, OK, how did I surpass it the first two times?”
I need to make sure that I have that same mindset and I think that’s one of the things I always like to share with others when they say, “How did you overcome— survive cancer three times?” That’s what it is, truly having faith and having the right mindset and just taking things in small strides. And soon before you know it, it’ll be part of your past when you’re facing challenges.
You talk about relationships. I know in the Asian community, I think—even now—I come from a very traditional family.
So being divorced was very taboo. Being married young and then getting divorced. My parents thought, “Oh, my gosh, it’s doomsday. How are we going to tell their relatives.” And then I remarried, and then my late husband passed away from pancreatic cancer.
Maintaining a positive outlook while overcoming adversity
So it was like having to reset again and allow myself to be able to, “How am I going to be able to love again and open up again?” And it’s come back to having faith and really giving it to God and just understanding that this is my journey and owning it and never asking questions as to why it’s happening to me.
Michelle Duong: Let me just face the music, deal with the problem— turn it into a positive, because everything that can happen that is negative in your life. There’s always a silver lining. And if you can always have the mindset that one day I’m going to look back on this and I’m going to be so proud of myself that was an event in my life or tragedy, that experience in my life or a challenge in my life that I was able to surpass.
And just hanging on to that feeling gives you the motivation when you are just really just trying to find a purpose to really take those first steps to make that change in your life and overcoming that challenge.
So I just share a little bit about that and the relationship piece. And then you said, you know, just being a young parent, my key thing is my children are the center of my world and I strive each and every day to be the best example possible for them.
If you were to ask them today, like, “What is the one key attribute or highlight that you feel that your mom has taught you?” And that is: you are a fighter and you never quit. I will tell you, that’s definitely what they would say.
Lessons of resilience and overcoming adversity
Francis Kong: Well, I think your two young men are super lucky to have someone like you as a mother and a role model to really give them that strength and that resolve— that I think we definitely need at this point.
Actually, that will actually brings me to my next question for you. This leads naturally to it was —so you already have your voice that creates so much strength and resolving your own personal journey of having this cancer three times, surviving it three times—your relationship, and then also losing your late husband to cancer itself and also being a single parent on top of all that.
So your strength of resolve has already been very well-honed that what does —what do you think 2020 has taught you and hopefully also taught the community in terms of the lessons of resilience? Has it taught you more than what you already knew? And if so, what is it and what do you hope our community could learn from this as a whole now?
Pivoting through times of stress and overcoming adversity
Michelle Duong: I’m a big believer that we continue to learn each and every day, there’s always something that we can learn from someone or an event in your life every day, and 2020 has so many uncertainties.
And it was a year that required a lot of us to be able to adjust, to change, adapt to new uncertainties, being resilient, being able to pivot. Ironically, I started a brand new job five days before the shelter-in-place. I was able to exit my late husband’s business —sold off my partnership and at the beginning of the year and start [to] go back to corporate America and work for a global staffing company, not knowing that the first day I would come in, they would give me a laptop and send me home and tell me that I’m going to be working remotely, indefinitely.
And so I think the new way of operating for me was trying to connect with an entire team that I never met in person. I oversee the entire Western region, everything west of the Mississippi, which is huge—it’s like half of the country. And how was I going to connect with everyone through this digital world? I mean, look, we’re having to do a Zoom chat because of this situation that we’re all facing right now. So what it’s taught me is to you know, I’ve always known you have anywhere to continue living and thrive, not just not only live, but thrive.
Michelle Duong: You have to be resilient and be able to adjust and adapt to change. And that is probably something that I think that I continue to learn how to adjust and adapt to change.
Family is the foundation for developing relationships with others
What are some new things that I could do and new innovative ideas of how I can continue to connect with others? But with that being said, 2020 with the pandemic, we were all forced to be at home mainly. And I have always lived a life where there was just so many activities.
You know, I have philanthropic responsibilities, I’ve served on boards for several nonprofits and even today as a full-time job entrepreneur, being a mom. And I’m sure a lot of your Asian audience will appreciate this. Asian parents rely on us a lot, they call us for everything, so they can’t go to the doctor, can you call this person? Can you do that? I coordinate everything. So we’re 2020 being such a challenging year where it forced me to slow down.
And I think the biggest thing that I walked away from 2020 and that I want to carry into 2021 is, “OK, slow down but still have your relevance and impact on the lives of others around you and you can still do that.”
And I think the lives that I want to continue to impact and make a difference in is first and foremost my family. I really had the opportunity to do things with my family that I didn’t make the time. I don’t know when people say, “Oh, I didn’t have the time.” Everybody has time; you have to make the time. So I think 2020 was in a year that taught me that I have to continue that, make the time for my family and connect with them and be able to spend quality time to help us continue to move along.
Overcoming adversity: the keys to success
Michelle Duong: It was a year that I think a lot of people struggled mentally with all the changes as well. We all had a lot of fear: we didn’t know if our family members were going to get sick, [or] if we were going to get sick. I’m sure a lot of people face challenges from an economic perspective, losing their jobs or a lot of the executives that I know that I work with, they were forced to make some really hard decisions. Like even myself, I had to—I just took on this new job and a roster of people. I had to decide who I was going to furlough, who I—you know, and I don’t even know them.
So that goes back to: you have to just trust your instincts and be able to adjust to change, be resilient and just rely on who you are and what you bring to the table to make an impact on someone else’s life each and every day.
Operation Be Kind
Francis Kong: That’s beautiful. I did have one more question, but I actually pivot to ask something else. You talk about how you do a lot of work even now and in charity, you know, 2020 being such a challenging year for everybody, and I know one of the biggest operations is that you helped run is something called Operation Be Kind and it’s a very special operation because it constitutes to help the—I guess—organizations and communities that are most in need. What did—what did Operation Be Kind look like in 2020? And what it was able to do and wasn’t able to help affect the communities that he thought he had to help most?
Michelle Duong: Well, I’ve been very involved on a philanthropic level: I serve on the boards with some very large nonprofit organizations across the nation, and Operation Be Kind started in 2017.
One of my dear closest friends is like a family member. She and I went to The Ellen DeGeneres Show and at the end of her show, one of her taglines is: be kind to one another.
And as a cancer survivor, I got the tickets to go to the show and it was the 12 days of giving. And I remember our car ride home, we just we were talking to each other like, “Oh, my gosh, how are we so blessed that we got to go to this event?” But just think how Ellen felt giving away all these items for the 12 days of giving for Christmas. How would it would feel to be able to give or receive?
Starting a non-profit organization
And at that time, we just found out the news of my late husband’s terminal illness. And what— I mean my good friend just wanted to do something to enlighten the community.
So she went to go feed the homeless and she came home and she was just like, “You know, I want to do something to inspire our youth, to teach them how to be kind, how to spread kindness.” But we always had in the back of our mind, a lot of these nonprofits are such large organizations and they’re not really making an impact in your immediate community and not able to reach out to specific demographics. And in addition, a lot of these nonprofits don’t have the opportunity to touch so many lives.
They’re very specific in their mission, whether it be just breast cancer or the Arthritis Foundation or the AIDS Foundation—one specific cause. [But with] Operation Be Kind, basically, every month has a different mission [when] we partner up with these other organizations to impact on those lives. And it’s very rewarding for us. And 2020 was very difficult for us, because given we were going into our third year of operations and so nonprofit—we basically have to rely on the donations of the community and everybody around us to help us keep us afloat.
All the board members don’t get paid. That was what’s different from the other large nonprofits that are out there. So it’s truly volunteer and donations and to be in a pandemic, we couldn’t be together.
I think the first several missions we had were to help a lot of the homeless people putting together these kind bags.
Making an impact on other’s peoples’ lives
So how do we keep ourselves safe while we’re helping them? They don’t even have masks to come pick up these kind bags with essential items to get them through these tough times in 2020.
So how it impacted us was— it’s really hard. We had to learn to operate on a digital platform, we still got our donations, our volunteer groups had to be smaller, they had to be spread apart and we were we had to cancel our annual golf tournament—that was our biggest fundraiser, we had to cancel our gala event, which is another big event of ours.
But, you know, what I really learned at the end of the day when people want to give back and help, “So what we didn’t have a golf tournament? So what we didn’t have a gala event?” People still donated and we were still able to make an impact in other people’s lives. And that was probably the most rewarding thing for me to see that, like, even in tough times, people are willing to change, adjust and adapt to the new way we were operating and still being able to make a difference in someone else’s life and spread kindness with this.
Francis Kong: OK, I think I’m so glad that—I think that the hallmark of a real, true mission-driven nonprofit operation is that, no matter what the situation is, you will find a way. It’s like, we’ll find time, you’ll make time. You’ll make a way —strategy— to make it happen. So thank you for being part of that and leading that and doing that. And that’s really all the time I have for our wonderful fireside chat, it went by so fast.
Key takeaways on overcoming adversity
But I’ve learned so much from you, the fact of what it means to be resilient, to make time, to always find a way. And most importantly, no matter how big something is—bigger than the small pieces, small chunks—and then taken on one bite at a time and make it through. So, Michelle, I’ve always wanted to talk with you. Thank you so much again for being such a strong pillar of our community. And I hope, I really hope that we’ll get a chance to finally meet you in person.
I hope I can speak in person sometime, probably —how are things going —late 2021 or early 2022.
Michelle Duong: Well, I appreciate you giving me the time to chat with you and sharing a little bit of glimpse of my life and what I could share. And I hope that anybody watching this or listening in our chat, it will inspire them or get them to take that first step. I always say one step is better than no steps. So it’s just pushing them to make that change or facing their fears.
Francis Kong : Absolutely. Thank you again so much. We’ll talk again really soon, okay, Michelle?
Michelle Duong: Sure. Thank you so much again.
Francis Kong: Take care. Bye-bye now.
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